Shrimp Dip

By –naChoZ

This is the ultimate dip. At gatherings, this must be placed in a strategic location to allow a large number of people to gather around and mindlessly consume it non-stop like a smoker having a nic fi t. The area around the bowl also tends to be devoid of conversation as well.

If you’re just making it for yourself or a small gathering, make less as this will probably kill you, since you basically sit down and suddenly find that you’ve eaten the whole thing and eating that much of this can’t be good for you.

Ingredients

 * 4 blocks of the good philly cream cheese.


 * 3 cans of tiny shrimp (the little cans that look like tuna cans. 3 Diamond’s is ok. Eastman and Geisha suck)


 * Mayo (I use Cains. I despise Miracle Whip)


 * Ketchup


 * Onion (your choice, I’ve used everything from Spanish to Vidalia and they’re all good)


 * Milk

Directions
This makes a huge quantity, although it will still be the first item to disappear at your party. Open the cream cheese and let it sit for a bit to make it bit easier to stir. Chop up your onion. I chop it very very finely myself. I never actually measured it, but you’ll want to chop up probably 1/4-1/3 cup of onions. Get a decent sized bowl, 2-3 quarts. Drop in the cream cheese. Add the onions. I never measured the mayo either, I just take a regular spoon from my silverware drawer (tbsp) and pull out 3 giant spoonfuls of mayo, as much as I can get to stay on the spoon. Open the cans of shrimp but don’t remove the metal lid, squeeze in the 3 cans of shrimp juice but DO NOT ADD THE SHRIMP YET. Splash a tablespoon or two or three of milk in. Get out your electric beater and start mixing. Mix the hell out of it. I like it pretty thick, but if you think it’s going to break chips off as soon as you stick them in, add more milk while you’re mixing. Add some ketchup while mixing it simply to pink it up a bit, I usually use no more than about 1-2 tbsp. Mix it for a good 3 or 4minutes at top speed so that it has a fairly smooth, dippable consistency. Now, with a nice big wooden spoon or something, stir in your shrimp by hand GENTLY, trying to keep the little shrimpies as intact as possible. Stir it all in until it’s evenly mixed. Stick in the fridge, it’s better cold.

For a smaller batch, use only 2 or 3 blocks of cream cheese, 1 or 2 cans of shrimp.

For a fat free version, substitute fat free cream cheese and fat free mayo. Getting this to taste right is much more difficult, getting the quantities right is very unforgiving. Only add half as much shrimp juice as normal, otherwise it comes out super thin. Go very light on the ketchup, too, for some reason, the taste of it becomes very prominent in a fat free version. Increase the amount of onion a little because the whole mix comes out a bit too sweet and that helps balance it out because of the reduced quantity of shrimp juice.

Oh, and for chips, I prefer the Santitas. Tostitos are ok, but the bastards only make round tortilla chips now... just not the same!